RussiaXRomano
by Shaori Amaya
Summary: Just a fanfic of the extremely crack pairing of RussiaXRomano


"There is no way in hell I am going on a date with that-that thing!" Romano spat, glaring at his little brother from across the dinner table. They'd just finished eating their dinner of pasta and tomatoes.

"Why not big-a brother?" Italy asked. "You're so lonely! I bet that's why you're so cranky all the time!" Italy said. He was trying to sound serious, but his silly Italian accent made it hard for anyone, even his own brother, to take him seriously.

"Because Russia is totally insane! Besides, isn't he with America?" Romano asked, thinking that hopefully that would get him out of the date.

"No they broke up, and you don't have to think of this has a real date!" Italy said, determined to get his brother out of the house. "Besides, Russia already agreed to it!"

"W-what? How the hell did you get Russia to agree to this?" Romano asked, surprised.

"He owes me a favor! I distracted Belarus once when she was chasing after him!" Italy answered cheerfully.

Romano put his head in his hands. "Are you seriously going to make me do this?" He asked, his voice muffled by his hands.

"Si!" Italy answered. "Look, I already picked out an outfit for you to wear!" Romano dreadfully looked up at what his brother was holding. He was holding a red satin button-down shirt, black dress pants, and…..

"A thong? You got me a freaking thong?" Romano exclaimed, knocking the piece of lingerie out of his brothers' hand.

"Of course, you never know what'll happen at the end of these dates, fratello!" Italy said, picking up the lingerie off the floor and putting it on the table in front of his brother, along with the rest of the outfit.

"Nothing is going to happen with us, because I am not going on the date!" Romano said, covering up the thong with the red satin shirt.

"Will you please do it, for me big brother?" Italy asked, giving his brother puppy dog eyes. He knew that Romano couldn't resist his puppy dog eyes for long.

Romano slammed his head against the table. "Chigii…" He said under his breath. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but.." Italy looked at him hopefully. He picked his head up off the table and sighed before saying "I'll go on the damn date with that damn Satan worshipper" He said.

"Yay!" Italy exclaimed, clapping excitedly. "He's gonna pick you up at 7:00!" Italy said.

Romano checked his watch. "Italy, its 6:00!" He exclaimed.

"Then you'd better get started getting ready! Here, I'll help you!" Italy said, pulling his brother out of the room and into his bedroom. "Here, put on the clothes! Including the thong!" Italy said, running out of the room. Romano sighed deeply and closed the door before getting dressed. He stared at the thong, wondering if he really had to wear it.

"Chigi…if I don't put it on my bastard of a brother will probably put it on me himself…" Romano thought, slipping on the red sequined thong and then the black dress pants his brother had bought him. He only left one button open on the red shirt, not wanting to expose his bare chest.

"Ve, you look so sexy brother! There is no way Russia will be able to resist you now!" Italy said, opening the door to the room Romano had been changing in. "You just need to open up the shirt a little more" He said, unbuttoning Romano's shirt halfway.

"I don't want Russia to think I'm sexy! I don't even want to go on this stupid date!" Romano yelled at his brother. Italy started to sniffle and he looked down at his shoes.

"I-I'm sorry fratello, I just wanted you to be happy like Germany and I are! I guess I can call Russia and tell him that the dates off" He said sadly, pulling out his cell phone and looking through his contacts.

"N-no, I'll go if it'll make you happy" Romano sighed, staring at his feet as if they would tell him how to get out of this without upsetting his brother. Suddenly he felt a pair of arms around his neck, and turned to see that Italy was hugging him tightly.

"Thanks you, fratello!" Italy said excited, hugging his brother tighter.

"Alright alright, just stop choking me!" Romano said annoyed, pulling his brother off of him. As he said it the door bell rang.

"I bet that's him!" Italy said cheerfully, running to the front door excitedly.

Romano stayed in the room and put on some cologne and began to fix his hair. "Wait, why do I even care? Its not like I even like that satanic bastard as a friend!" Romano thought, annoyed. He stopped fixing his hair and walked to the living room where his brother and Russia were chatting lightly about kitties or something. Romano slightly blushed when he saw that Russia was holding a red rose, presumably for him.

"Lets go, I want to get this over with as soon as possible" Romano muttered, not even greeting Russia.

"Alright. Here, this is for you" Russia said, handing Romano the rose. Romano blushed slightly and muttered a quick thanks before setting it in a glass of water on the kitchen counter.

"You two have fun!" Italy said, smiling, practically pushing them out the door. "Have him back by one, okay?" He asked Russia.

"Da." Russia replied in a slightly annoyed tone. "Good bye, Italy!" He waved back to him, leading Romano back to the vodka mobile.

"Bye, fratello!" Romano waved back.

"Bye!" Italy yelled out to them before closing the door.

"So where are we going?" Romano asked, getting in the passenger side of the vodka mobile.

"Olive Garden" Russia replied, a smile on his face as he started the car.

"I'll have vodka, please!" Russia ordered when the waitress asked what they wanted to drink.

"Red wine" Romano ordered, still obviously annoyed.

"Alright, I'll bring your alcohol right over" The waitress said, afraid of Russia's creepiness and how obviously pissed off Romano was.

"Why are you so angry, Romano?" Russia asked, his usual creepy smile on his face.

"Shut up. I just want to get drunk enough so that I won't remember this tomorrow. The only reason I'm here is for Italy" Romano said, shooting Russia a glare.

Russia just shrugged, the smile disappearing from his face. "Okay, but if you get drunk and try anything funny I won't hesitate to pipe you" Russia said, adding a cheerful smile on at the end.

Romano groaned and slammed his head down on the table again. He didn't raise his head until he heard the waitress say "Ok, uh….I got your drinks." He lifted his head up to see her pouring Russia's vodka in a glass.

"Nyet" He said, shaking his head. "Just give me the bottle" He said with that signature creepy smile. The waitress gave Russia a strange look but handed him the whole bottle.

"And, uh, what about you?" She asked Romano.

"Just give me the bottle too" Romano answered, taking the bottle of red wine from her hand. She gave him a strange look too, but she stopped when Romano glared at her.

"So, do, uh, do you know what you want to order?" She asked, trying to decide which one she was more scared of.

"Da." Russia answered. "I just want some spaghetti." The waitress wrote down Russia's order and turned to Romano expectedly.

"I just want some meat ravioli" Romano answered, folding up his menu and handing it to his waitress. Russia did the same and the waitress quickly walked away.

"You need to slow down your drinking Romano; I'm not holding our hair when you


End file.
